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“When Trust is Broken,” by Pastor Mark DuPré

July 29, 2018 | Pastor Mark DuPré

Blurb: When we get hurt and our trust in someone is broken, we fall into a kind of bondage. Jesus shows us the way out to freedom. This sermon shows the surprising steps to complete freedom after having lost trust.

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Sermon Notes

When Trust is Broken

 

God is at work freeing His people. He’s digging–and often pretty deep. But His goal is freedom.

 

Today’s we’re talking about when trust has been broken. Somewhere, sometime, you got hurt. Deeply. It shouldn’t have happened, but it did. And it did more than hurt–it broke your trust.

 

The pain can begin to destroy our trust not just in a person, but a certain TYPE of person–man, woman, teacher, leader, pastor. “All …… are like …..” or “…do this or that.” When we are hurt and lose trust, there is a deeper damage done to us than we realize. We’re put into bondage. And it’s up to us to do something about it.

 

We can retreat and “make sure” that no one can hurt us again, or we can determine never to trust again. But that’s more bondage, and God gives us NO GRACE to hold that position.

 

What we need to do is free ourselves! And God has told us how to do that!

  1. We have to FORGIVE.
  2. We don’t have to trust (yet).
  3. …Uh, we’ll get to that later.

 

If we’re Christians, we realize that we have to forgive.But we don’t want to be hurt again.

What forgiving is not doing:

  1. Not denying what happened.
  2. Not saying that what happened was OK. Sometimes we are just so pained by what happens that we don’t even want to think about it.
  3. Not excusing or explaining away what the person has done, or even justifying.
  4. Not providing a pardon (in the legal sense).Not the same as reconciling. You can forgive without reconciling.

What protects your heart after you’ve been hurt?: Resentment? Unforgiveness? Judgment? There is no help from God, no grace, to keep those fires alive. There IS grace to forgive.

Here is what God says: Colossians 3:13–forgive as we have been forgiven.

Ephesians 4:32 and Matthew 18:21

The best way to protect your heart and free yourself after an offense is to forgive.

2) We don’t have to trust (yet). Trust is a whole different thing from forgiveness.

 

You see, it’s on us to forgive. It’s on THE OTHER PERSON to earn our trust back. We offer trust s-l-o-w-l-y, and sometimes in small increments.

There is no one Bible verse that tells us to trust again when we’ve been hurt. But there is a verse….oh, that’s for later….

We ask ourselves, “How can I ever trust again?” We want to be able to trust again because we want to go back to the way things were before. But we can’t. BUT… we can go on.

Philippians 3:13-14 The good news is that you can move forward to solve any problem.

It’s mostly on the person doing the hurting to earn your trust back. But it’s not all on them. Give people a chance to earn back your trust. Don’t give it until they’ve earned it, but don’t withhold trust when it’s earned. And remember that there are levels of trust.

If you’re the one who’s done the hurting, ask yourself: Has this person I’ve hurt not forgiven me, or do they not trust me yet? You can’t make anyone trust you.

As we forgive, and perhaps begin to trust, we begin to experience restoration and we’re on our way to complete freedom from the chains.

But there is one more thing…one more part of the picture to get completely free.

Short story: A woman once asked her aunt to help her work through a betrayal. She asked how she could trust again. Her answer: “There is no command to trust people–just to love them. You don’t have to trust someone in order to serve them.

Gal. 6:10–must return to love in the body of Christ!

Matthew 5:46–if you only love those that love you…

Luke 6:27-28–love your enemies, do good to those who hate you….

Let God’s love begin to flow toward that person! This is God’s path to freedom. Forgiveness isn’t complete if we aren’t loving them. This is an opportunity to get completely free.

QTS: Can you freely love them/him/her as much as you love [someone you love]….?

We might way, “I can’t do that!”

No, you can’t: Matthew 19:26

When you’re offended or hurt, there is only one path to getting out of the bondage:

  • Forgive.
  • Allow for trust to be rebuilt
  • Let the love of God flow out of your heart toward them.

It’s for freedom that we’ve been set free (Galatians 5:1)!